<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>do you love me now by Hazazel</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543985">do you love me now</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel'>Hazazel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Time Blow Jobs, M/M, Porn with Feelings, oikawa overthinks everything but doesn't ruin things: the story</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:29:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,309</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hazazel/pseuds/Hazazel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The doorknob is poking uncomfortably at his back but Tooru doesn't really care. Ushijima's fingers are running through his hair, on the side of his face, down his neck, that's all he can think about, really. They're whisper-soft in between the calluses. He must moisturise, maybe that's why he smells so nice.<br/>“You're thinking too hard,” he says, and Tooru can't help but avert his eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>do you love me now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i have started this *checks doc* more than a year ago........ it's finally done, yay !<br/>unbeta-ed so far but i'm happy with it so i'm posting it<br/>hope you like it ! i listened to "hey girl" by boy pablo while writing the end, lovely song</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The doorknob is poking uncomfortably at his back but Tooru doesn't really care. Ushijima's fingers are running through his hair, on the side of his face, down his neck, that's all he can think about, really. They're whisper-soft in between the calluses. He must moisturise, maybe that's why he smells so nice.</p><p>“You're thinking too hard,” he says, and Tooru can't help but avert his eyes. “I can stop, if it's too much.”</p><p>It is, it's overwhelming. He doesn't want it to stop. He's waited so long, god, he never wants it to stop. Ushijima's fingers continue stroking his skin softly, softly. Tooru wants more but can't seem to find the words to ask – there are so many worming their way up his throat that he feels like choking. He just shakes his head, and Ushijima smiles. It's a genuine smile, not that he has fake ones, and Tooru feels warm all over.</p><p>“I want to kiss you.” It's more a statement than a question, so Tooru just smiles back and keeps breathing hard, eyes glazed. “Oikawa, I want to kiss you.”</p><p>“What are you waiting for ?” The words are hushed and free of bite. An invitation of sorts. Ushijima still hesitates but eventually he leans in. Their lips barely touch – it's electrifying.</p><p>“Again,” Tooru exhales, “kiss me again.”</p><p>It takes some time. Ushijima slots his hands in Tooru's hair and they fit like that's where they were always meant to be. He looks like there's nothing in the world he'd rather do. And then he kisses him again – oh god, his lips are so soft. Even after they separate they're just a breath away and Tooru can feel their mouths touching when he shuffles up higher. His own hands are forgotten on Ushijima's back, fisted in his shirt like he needs something to hold on to, so Tooru moves them up to his neck and back down again, just because he feels like it. Just because he can, because they're close now, smiles and talks and now this.</p><p>Who could have thought – that it'd end like this, pressed together on a dorm door with a voice in his head gasping for air, drowning in sensations and the feeling of <em>right right right</em> so loud in his ears.</p><p>He almost misses it. It's so soft that he feels it on his skin more than he hears it.</p><p>“I like you so much.”</p><p>Blood rushes to his head, drowning out every other sound. He's not even aware of his own breathing anymore – for a moment, reality ceases to exist. Ushijima keeps stroking his hair, eyes half shut. His face is so serious, focused solely on Tooru. He doesn't look lost, he doesn't look anxious. He just looks <em>there</em>, rock solid against him.</p><p>It all comes back in a crash and Tooru slumps against the door.</p><p>“Since when,” he asks, “since when have you. Thought that.”</p><p>“I'm not sure. I think it's been a while.”</p><p>“You didn't tell me.”</p><p>Ushijima pauses at that, head tilted in thought. His hands absent-mindedly tighten in Tooru's hair as if he fears he will disappear. Run away at last. It hasn't been his plan for a while and he can't remember the last time he called Iwaizumi to complain about the awful awful life he led being in the same team as his most hated rival. A rival currently occupied with burying his face in Tooru's neck, inhaling deeply and softly kissing the skin under his chin.</p><p>“Would you have reacted well ?” Ushijima says, raising his head and taking his hands off of Tooru's hair. “Or would it have scared you away ? Are you sure of what you want, now ?”</p><p>“I don't know – I'm not sure. Please don't stop.”</p><p>“I want to kiss you again. I've wanted to for a while. When you told me you'd leave the school if I was on your back I thought we'd never get to be on the same team at all.”</p><p>“Quit – quit talking about volleyball, will you ? I know what I did wrong.”</p><p>Is that what was going on behind that thick skull of his, Tooru thinks, is that what he thought all this time ? Well – he wasn't wrong at first. Tooru spat and whined and gave him the cold shoulder. Things changed when… when did they ? He didn't notice. It's like one day he couldn't stand Ushijima's very presence, and the next they were sharing coffee over their trig lessons, and Tooru laughed at him for taking a latte.</p><p>“Oikawa, is this-”</p><p>“We should move to the couch. The doorknob is killing me.”</p><p>“You should have said so earlier,” Ushijima chides. He's so serious that Tooru can't help but laugh. Ushijima really would have considered his well-being over the chance of kissing him, like that time after volleyball practice when Tooru was upset and Ushijima stayed late training with him. Tooru could have kissed him right there on the court, and he would have regretted it deeply. But Ushijima is a true gentleman, something Tooru would have never believed in if he hadn't witnessed it so closely. That means, in the present situation, that Ushijima takes his hand like it's made of diamond, like it’s made of glass, and leads him inside the flat, thumb stroking his palm. Tooru could cry but that would ruin the mood, wouldn't it. His head is finally working properly and he doesn't want to panic just yet.</p><p>They sit on the couch, a little too close. Way too far apart for Tooru's taste, but he'll work his way there eventually. For now this is enough – they're still holding hands and Ushijima is turning towards him, cupping Tooru's face with his free hand, waiting for a green light.</p><p>What would it feel like to smash their lips together ? What would Ushijima sound like if Tooru raked his fingers down his back ? Would it feel nice, would it go well ? All those questions and more threaten to send his brain into overdrive, so Tooru nods before he can back out of it. He's been longing for this, dammit, he's been patient enough. It's never felt so good before, this must be a sign, right ?</p><p>Ushijima finally brings their lips together, but this time he lingers, mouth moving softly against Tooru's like he's not used to this. He actually isn't, Tooru remembers. Ushijima's lack of experience came up in their conversations, much to Tooru's dismay. Ushijima behaving like a normal teenager ? How dare he.</p><p>Tooru shakes the thoughts away, though they did help him keep the landslide of sensations at bay. It's almost too much, too intense for comfort. Tooru can feel the slightest shift in Ushijima's hold on his hand, the air he exhales through his nose, the hint of stubble on his chin. He forgot to close his eyes and he can count Ushijima's eyelashes – dark and fluttering.</p><p>They separate an eternity later, breathing a little fast, and Ushijima gives him another one of these smiles that make Tooru's heart skip a beat.</p><p>“You-”</p><p>“We-”</p><p>They speak at the same time, and stop to chuckle. Tooru gestures to say Ushijima should go on first, and he says, “You look a little hot.”</p><p>“Only a little ?” Tooru jokes.</p><p>“You look beautiful as always,” Ushijima seriously says. “You do look hot though.”</p><p>“I was gonna suggest taking off our shirts, if that's what you're thinking of.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“How forward !” Tooru smiles.</p><p>They have to separate their hands in order to take their shirts off, and Tooru misses the thumb gently stroking his skin. It's back soon, though, as the cold air rushes to his naked chest. They've seen each other in the showers and he had to try hard not to ogle. Ushijima is built like a god, golden skin and muscles defined under it, and it's Tooru's turn to ask for permission, hands hovering.</p><p>And just like that, they’re kissing again, except this time, Tooru can dig his nails in Ushijima’s back, moan softly when Ushijima bites his bottom lip, release a sigh as Ushijima flips them on the couch and his back hits the cushions. Something dark and hot pools in his belly, an all-encompassing need to burn and leave nothing behind.</p><p>He’s never felt like this before. His many girlfriends never got close enough to try and the handful of boyfriends he had, well, let’s say that Tooru wasn’t into it as much as he thought he’d be. When he tries to buck his hips, Ushijima groans like he can’t help it, and that’s it – just like that, Tooru becomes a wildfire. He’s so hard he can barely breathe, eyes open but unseeing.</p><p>“Oikawa,” is all Ushijima says. “Oikawa, Oikawa.” His hands stroke down Tooru’s sides, coming up to brush over his nipples, sending his brain into haywire. Tooru’s own hand slide down, down, until he’s grasping Ushijima’s ass and pressing their hips together. A string of moans fall from his lips and Ushijima keeps whispering his name, again and again like a mantra. It makes Tooru feel bold.</p><p>His other hand creeps lower, brushing the trail of brown hair going from Ushijima’s navel to the hem of his pants, and he raises his eyebrows in question. Ushijima’s eyes only darken and he growls, possessive and hungry. Tooru takes that as a yes and pushes past the hem, past the curls of hair until his fingers brush over Ushijima’s length. The resulting moan is loud enough to drown every single one of his insecurities. Scurrying to open Ushijima’s fly, a giddy feeling overcomes him as he draws out more and more of those sweet sounds. The wet slide of his hand thanks to Ushijima’s precome, the weight of his shaft in Tooru’s hand, everything is perfect.</p><p>“I’m close.” Ushijima rolls his hips in time with Tooru’s strokes, and he whispers, like a prayer, “I’m so happy you’re here.”</p><p>“Come for me,” Tooru answers, and that does it for Ushijima who stills at last, breath hitching. Tooru only stops the motions of his hand when he whines, overstimulated. He gets it out of Ushijima’s pants and marvels at the white mess on his palm. He’s not brave enough to try licking it – he might come from the taste alone, considering how hard he is.</p><p>“How are y-”</p><p>“Let me make you feel good,” Ushijima stops him. “Please.” He shimmies off the couch, kneeling in front of Tooru who turns to face him, and he puts his hands on Tooru’s thighs. “Please.”</p><p>It’s Tooru’s turn to moan, a low, wanton sound while Ushijima’s deft fingers unzip his jeans and slide them off along with his boxers. His cock is achingly hard and Tooru has half a thought about how he probably shouldn’t be this turned on already, but it all goes away with the first touch of Ushijima’s lips to the head of his dick. Tooru throws his head back, trying to contain the sounds, trying not to clench his jaw too hard, trying not to grip harshly at Ushijima’s hair and make him take his whole length in one go.</p><p>Ushijima’s tongue darts out and licks a stripe along Tooru’s cock before he mouths at the tip, a low rumble of appreciation at the back of his throat – the vibrations are exhilarating, Tooru has to try hard not to come. His hands are fisted around the hem of his shirt and Ushijima gently unclenches the fingers, guiding them to his hair with a look that seems to say, “I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>Then, without further warning, Ushijima opens his mouth and takes Tooru in, hand covering what doesn’t fit in his mouth. He is obviously inexperienced, the scrape of teeth bordering on pain, but he makes up for it with his eagerness, with the swipe of his tongue and the vibrations of his moans. Tooru won’t last long and he tries to warn Ushijima who seems to get the hint and backs away, panting hard. It takes Tooru two pumps of his come-wet hand before he spills on his stomach, Ushijima’s name on his lips like a last exhale.</p><p>After a moment, Tooru has calmed down enough to wrinkle his nose at the cum drying up on his hand and stomach, and he asks softly, “Can I use your bathroom ?”</p><p>“My roommate will arrive soon,” Ushijima sighs. “We better hurry.”</p><p>“I hope we both fit in your shower, then.”</p><p>As it turns out, they don’t. They take quick turns washing themselves and getting their clothes back on, Ushijima lending Tooru a shirt – apparently, the cum that got on it won’t wash away that easily. Tooru doesn’t know what to do next, loitering in the living room. Ushijima looks almost sombre, or at least Tooru would think so if he didn’t recognise the satisfied curl of his lips, the same one he has after spiking Tooru’s tosses. It makes the warmth from their kisses linger in his chest, mellowing out the rough corners of his heart.</p><p>“I should go…” Tooru whispers. Ushijima nods. They both look at the door and make no move to get there. “I promise I’ll call you back.”</p><p>“I know, Oikawa.’ He pauses and adds, “Tooru.”</p><p>His given name rolls off Ushijima’s tongue effortlessly, like it was meant to be, and it makes Tooru walk the two steps that separate them and smash their lips together.</p><p>Of course, the door has to open at this exact moment, letting in Ushijima’s roommate, who looks at them like they’ve grown a pair of horns. Ushijima sighs. “Bye, To- Oikawa.”</p><p>“See you,” he answers faintly, before leaving. Just as the door closes behind him he turns around and sees Ushijima smiling at him. Tooru waves a little, and just like that, the door shuts, and he’s alone in a cold corridor.</p><p>He has a feeling he’s gonna be back, too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>don't forget to leave kudos and comments !</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>